If you are having a bad day, then check these seriously funny jokes that will crack you up with laughter. We have collected just viral seriously funny long jokes, short jokes, and clean funny jokes in this list.
Jokes are hilarious. Often, few jokes have bad punchlines. Also, some of the jokes have super funny puns which will make you fall off the chair with laughter. Moreover, you might hear some of the seriously funny jokes before. However, we have tried to post all the trending and viral jokes in this list. We hope you will get a good laugh.
Seriously Funny Long Jokes Guaranteed to Make You LOL
8. Seriously funny walks into a bar joke
A man walks into a bar and sits down He asks the barkeep “If I can show you something you have never seen before, can I drink here for free tonight?” The barkeep thinks about it and says “well I have seen a lot of stuff, if you can genuinely show me something I have not seen before, I will pick up your tab tonight”.
So the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a miniature piano and sets it on the bar, then he reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a frog and sets the frog at the piano.
Low and behold the frog cracks his little fingers and starts to play!
The barkeep is just blown away by this and agrees that the man can drink for free for the rest of the night. Meanwhile there is a wealthy business man watching this unfold from a corner, so he gets up and approaches the man sensing a business opportunity. He says “Excuse me, but I saw your frog and I was wondering if he was for sale?”
The man replies “Sorry the frog is not for sale” and continues sipping his drink.
The businessman offers $10,000 for the frog, which the man again politely declines, followed by offers for $20,000 and $30,000. Until the business man finally gives up and goes back to his seat.
The man finishes his drink and asks the barkeep “Hey, if I can show you something else even more amazing, would you let me drink here for free any day?” The barkeep thinking he has seen everything now readily agrees, what could be more amazing than a playing frog?
Well the man reaches into another pocket and brings out a mouse and puts him on top of the piano. A few seconds later the mouse starts to sing along with the frog’s playing! The barkeep is absolutely floored by this and again agrees to honor his deal.
The business man also sees this and again approaches the man, he offers $100,000 for the frog and the mouse, which the man again declines. The business man in a last ditch effort says “OK, what about $100,000 just for the mouse?”
The man takes a sip of his drink and says “Just for the mouse? Yeah OK” so the business man cuts him a check right there, and takes the mouse and leaves.
The barkeep says to the man “Are you crazy!?” A mouse like that has got to be worth 10x that much! What were you thinking?”
The man calmly sips his drink and replies with a wry smile “The jokes on him, the frog is a ventriloquist.”
7. Seriously funny jokes about a farmer named Clyde who had a car accident…
In court, the trucking company’s lawyer was questioning Clyde. “Didn’t you say, at the moment of the accident, ‘I’m fine.'” asked the lawyer?
Clyde responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the…”
“I did not ask you for any details”, the lawyer interrupted. “Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?'”
Clyde said, “Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road.”
The lawyer interrupted again and said “Judge, I’m trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the highway patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”
By this time the judge was fairly interested in Clyde’s answer and said to the lawyer “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie.”
Clyde thanked the judge and proceeded.
“Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.
When the highway patrolman came on the scene he could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her and saw her near fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, ‘how are you feeling?’
Now what the fuck would you say?”
6. Seriously Funny Joke About Why was 6 Afraid of 7?
6 never did trust 7. Sure, they worked closely together, but 7 always seemed at odds with him.
6 always preferred the company of 4, a perfect 10 of a duo, even though 2 kept them apart.
But when it came to 7? 6 always summed it up to bad luck. Then, 6 found the truth. 6 respected 9, even though lewd jokes always seemed to be made about the two.
6 found that 3 and himself could come together and be seen as equal to 9. When 9 was removed, 6 had a very negative feeling.
Some were considered prime suspects in 9’s death. 2, 3, 5, and 7. 6 knew it had to be 7.
His involvement with 9 added up two well. 6 snuck into 7’s house. He looked up from the floorboards, and found himself under 7.
An admittedly improper position for him, but 6 saw the proof he wanted: 9’s body, half devoured. 7 was a cannibal… 7 8 9. 6 has spent the remainder of his days terrified of 7, worried that someday 7 will learn what 6 knows… And promptly solve his problem.
5. Very Funny Jokes about the New Prisoner
There’s a new prisoner and he was assigned to a cell. On the way to his cell…
He heard one prisoner said “110” and the other prisoners laugh really hard.
Then one more prisoner said “93” and the prisoner’s laughs again.
When he arrived at his cell, out of curiosity he asked his cell mate why the other prisoners said numbers then everybody laugh?
His cell mate explained that the prisoners have heard a lot of jokes over and over again, they decided to number it to make telling it really easy.
Just after that, this new guy shouted loudly “153”. The whole cell block laughs really hard, even some of them laughs until tears come down from their eyes.
His cell mate replied “Hilarious mate! We’ve never heard of that one before!”
4. Seriously Funny Jokes about a Man’s Rear Tire
A man’s rear tire falls off his car in front of a mental asylum.
While inspecting he notices that all the lug nuts have broken and fallen off the wheel.
As he sits there desperately trying to find a way to re-attach his wheel to the car, he hears a voice call out to him from behind the fence.
“What seems to be the problem?” says the mental patient.
The man replies, “Well it seems all the lug nuts have broken off my tire and I have no way of attaching it back to my car.”
The mental patient thinks for a second and tells him, “Let’s see… The tires have 4 lug nuts each, if you take one off each tire and use them to attach the fallen tire, you can drive off slowly and go buy yourself the missing lug nuts later, right?”
The man was astonished at this suggestion and said, “Say that’s an amazing idea, if you don’t mind me asking how the hell you are in a mental asylum??”
He responds, “I’m in here for being crazy not for being a dumb ass…”
3. Clever funny joke about a farmer and a chain saw
A farmer walks into a hardware store and asks for a chainsaw that can cut down 6 trees in one hour.
The salesman recommends the top of the line model.
The farmer is suitably impressed, and buys it.
The next day he brings it back, complaining that it would only cut down 1 tree and it took ALL DAY!
The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what’s wrong, and the farmer says: “What’s that noise?”
2. Seriously Hilarious Walks into a Bar Jokes
A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”
He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”
The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man “When are you going to pay for these beers?”
The man answers, “Now the problems start!
1. Seriously Funny Jokes about a Mafia Godfather and his deaf bookkeeper
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10 million. The bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, “Ask him where the money is?”
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, “where’s the money?”
Guido signs back, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
The lawyer tells the Godfather, “He says he doesn’t know what you are talking about”
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido’s temple and says, “Ask him again!”
The lawyer signs to Guido, “He’ll kill you if you don’t tell him.”
Guido signs back, OK” You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my Cousin Bruno’s house.”
The Godfather asks the lawyer, “What did he say?”
The lawyer replies, “He says you don’t have the balls to pull the trigger.”
Seriously Funny Short Jokes That Will Make You Laugh
25. My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home.
I told her I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening!
She laughed. I laughed.
Alexa laughed. Siri laughed.
24. What do you call friends that you go out to eat with?
23. Do Transformers get car insurance or health insurance?
Nether. They’re immigrants in America.
22. I’m furious. My holiday is ruined! I’ve decided to sue the airline that lost my luggage.
My lawyer said that I don’t have a case.
20. I relabeled all the jars in my wife’s spice rack.
I’m not in trouble yet but the thyme is cumin…
19. What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo
18. I want to buy Apple’s new monitor but I only have $4,000…
I can’t stand it!
17. My neighbor rang my doorbell at 5 am…
Luckily I was already up, playing drums.
16. I have a pen that can write underwater!
It can also write other words too
15. Apple releases an apple…
Apple starts selling an apple in the shape of its iconic logo. People stand in long lines to get the shiny, plastic sealed apples.
One curious customer tears open the plastic seal and finds a dead bug inside. The media gets wind of it and approaches the CEO to get comments.
He says: “It’s not a bug, it’s a feature”
14. A Physicist, a Biologist and a Mathematician are standing at a bus stop.
A bus stops and 5 people get in. As the bus comes around the next time, 6 people get out.
The Physicist comments: “That’s a measuring error.”
The biologist says: “They reproduced on the way.”
The mathematician says: “If one more person gets in, the bus will be empty.”
13. Apparently, 29% of pet owners let their pet sleep on the bed with them, so I gave it a try…
…my goldfish died.
12. What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
11. My wife bet me $20 that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta.
10. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
9. If anyone wants to come and talk about why my heating bills are sky high
– The door is always open
8. When I built my chicken coop, my kid asked me why it had two doors.
I answered, “Because if it had four doors, it would be a sedan.”
7. Two muffins were getting baked
One muffin turns to the other and says “Is it, like, really hot in here, or is it just me…?”
The other looks over and shouts “Holy shit, a talking muffin!”
6. To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket…
You can hide but you can’t run!
5. If Con is the opposite of Pro
Is Congress the opposite of Progress?
4. I found Shakespeare’s old pencil the other day.
It was so chewed I couldn’t tell if it was 2B or not 2B.
3. My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
2. Today my son asked me “can I have a book mark?”
I’m so sad that he still doesn’t know my name is brian.
1. To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office
I will find you, you have my word.
Seriously Funny Jokes Final Thoughts
These are the latest seriously funny jokes collection on the internet. Also, we will try to update this list with future viral seriously funny jokes as well as great puns. So, bookmark and visit this post often.